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Literature Text

and all the girls today:

with their bird bones
their waifish bird bones
their broken bird bones

their riot-cries
their crossed t's and dotted i's
their secrets and their lies;

they're glowing like fireflies and I'll never be rid
of their batting jewel-dust eyes -
their eyes as wide as the skies,
their eyes slicing me slant-wise.
I don't often try rhyming poetry, but this came to me almost as a song.

Inspired, oddly, by this photo by Julia Trotti.
She is known here as vampirezombie

If you feel like giving critique:

Does a feeling of frustration or jealousy come across?
Is it odd to have the repetition of "bird bones" followed by all rhyming lines?
Does the last line sound off-meter?
© 2010 - 2024 Sora-Seraph
Comments14
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i like the rhyme and flow of it.